21

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288 hours and I’m 21. Cannot believe this.Time flies so fast that there is any minute to regret, to look back and to judge.

Since I’m not 21 yet, I thought I’d stop for a minute and judge. But not that surround, not the people, just ME. Is there something I can be proud of, is there something that I’m ashamed of, is there is something that can be changed.

Being a normal person or pretending to be one, I’ll start with more pleasant things.

At the age of 21 I:

  1. graduated from musical school (piano department) – thanks to my parents who at the proper time(!) singed me in, who encouraged me all that time to practice, who explained my how great it is to play on a musical instrument, who insisted on finishing the whole course. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Back then may be I didn’t appreciate it properly, but now I understand full commitment. I’m so grateful. Maybe, for sure actually they are not reading my blog, but still want them to know.
  2. finished high school. No magna cum laude, but again thanks to my parents I got decent high-quality education that allowed me to accomplish my next point.
  3. entered the university. Financial University under the Government of Russian Federation. Me and economics – who could even think about? But still going strong – this year actually graduating and now in the middle of writing my degree paper concerning risk-management in bank sector. Even I’m shocked.
  4. started learning Spanish. The language of my dreams. The language the flow like a song, never ever ending one.

Speaking about things I should be ashamed of, there is not any major ones I suppose, because now I’m trying to dig something out from the bottom of my minds – and nothing. Lied. Successful digging. Spanish classes. I dropped them. Since September ’12 (after 2.5 years of hard work – language is always work. You cannot not learn a language with out making an effort unless you’re permanently living in the nature habit. Not my case) I stopped attending classes due to the increasing working load the university. Shame on me. Also one of the new year resolutions was to learn 5 new spanish words. Do you think I learnt at least one? NO. Fail again.

Another fail and the thing I’m still failing is job hunting. I made a list of possible things a could do and nothing. It is still just a list of things I want to do, but not the list of things I’m doing. Sad.

Seems like I can keep on judging. But  should be the time to change things.

Time to become DOING person, not just WANTING TO DO.

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